Summer vacation means keeping things simple and easy. Which for many, means very little to no cooking. But when it comes to what we eat, giving someone else or packaged convenience foods the power over what fuels us during this sacred time off can backfire if we’re not careful. With a little extra planning and a willingness to think outside the box, cooking for yourself can become an important and meaningful part of your next vacation. That’s why I’m taking a look at what those benefits are as well as 7 tips for making it a fun and relaxing part of your vacation routine.

Why Cook for Yourself on Vacation?

While cooking for yourself on vacation has many benefits, here are my top reasons.

It saves money. There is no doubt that eating foods that you associate with a particular place or foods that place is known for are among the best parts of a vacation. Eating out in these cases is well worth the extra money you may pay for the luxury of trying new foods or old favorites that someone else prepares. But if there’s nothing special about what you’re eating out, think about the cost. Eating a modest breakfast or lunch out for a family of four can run anywhere between $20-$50. Eating a modest dinner out can run anywhere between $45 – $100. Add in snacks of any kind and you may be talking about $105 – $210 a day for food. For a seven-day vacation for a family of four, that’s $735 – $1,470 for eating while on vacation. By comparison, a weekly shopping trip (food items only) for a family of four is usually between $150 – $225. If you plan on providing breakfast and lunch items for yourself for six days out of your seven-day vacation as well as snacks and plan to cook four to five dinners, you could save between $400 – $800 on your food costs.

It saves time and energy. Finding new restaurants and trying something different for a specific special meal on vacation can be loads of fun. But let’s face it, having to find somewhere to eat for three meals a day can be a big drain on your precious vacation time, not to mention your energy. I can remember wanting to get out and about bright and early in New York one day and saying we would just find something quick and simple for breakfast. Since the hotel we were staying at was in more of a neighborhood area, most of the surrounding restaurants were nice sit-down type places. Since we were all starving at that point, there wasn’t a lot of appreciating the sights as we walked. Twenty minutes later, we ended up at a Dunkin Donuts. Not to knock the Dunkin, but we could have just as easily whipped up a quick, comparable breakfast on our own and been out and seeing and doing much quicker and with a lot less grumbling.

It gives you control over the food you’re eating. From a health perspective, it doesn’t get much more clear-cut than this. While you probably want to ease up on trying to make every meal and snack healthy on vacation, if you ease up too much, you could very easily wind up feeling worse instead of better by the time you get to the end. If you’re eating the most fantastic food ever, then that might be worth it, but if the food is nothing special, you don’t want your health to be sacrificed in the process.

It can provide some much-needed grounding when away from home. While spending time away from home can be just what the doctor ordered, it can also be a bit of a shock to our system. Eating familiar foods or more like what we’re used to can help ground us so that we can enjoy all that we’re seeing and doing.

7 Tips for Making Cooking on Vacation Fun and Relaxing

1. Make sure you have a kitchen at your disposal. Look for hotel rooms or suites with a kitchenette or at least a cooktop, microwave and full refrigerator. These are often comparable in price to a regular hotel room. Another great option is a vacation rental with a full kitchen. These are also often comparable to or less expensive than a regular hotel room.
2. Scout out nearby grocery stores ahead of time. You can easily map nearby grocery stores as part of planning where you’re going to stay. If you’re going to be in a big city or where it’s not easy to drive, be sure to find a place to stay with a grocery store or market very nearby since you will be carrying groceries. You’ll also want to take the whole family along so that everyone can carry groceries on the way back – or take a stroller! While you may have to make a second trip mid-week if you can’t carry everything at one time, try to get as much in one trip as possible. For the same reason that you don’t want to search for somewhere to eat for every meal, you also don’t want to be going to the grocery store every day either. Another idea is that if you don’t have a car or you really don’t want to go to the grocery store, see if you can order your groceries online and have them delivered. While this will cost a little more, it may be worth it depending on your situation.
3. Plan your meals and make a grocery list.While this is one of the least fun things about regular grocery shopping, it is well worth it anytime, but especially when you’re buying groceries on vacation. This makes it so that you have everything you need on hand and that you don’t end up buying more than you need. It also gives you a clear idea of what you’re looking for when you’re going into a new grocery store, which as we all know, can be a little challenging.
4. Plan for snacks. Snacks on vacation are a must. Fruits and packs of nuts and trail mix are very portable and easy to eat on the go or just sitting and relaxing. Make sure you also have plenty of bottles of water. If everyone is taking a backpack or bag of some sort, just split up the bottles and snacks between you so that no one is carrying everything.
5. Keep it simple. If you just really want to go all out and try to fix a full meal inspired by the local cuisine, go for it. Otherwise, keep the meals you’re cooking simple and familiar. After a full day of sightseeing, activities or being with family and friends, the last thing you’re probably going to want to do is fix a full meal that you’ve never tried before. Eating something different or local is what your eating out experiences are for.
6. Visit a local farmer’s market or outdoor market. This is a fun way to immerse yourself in the local culture and eat seasonally even while you’re away. If you’re in the United States, Local Harvest lets you find what’s available near where you’ll be staying so that you can know your options ahead of time.
7. Create a restful and relaxing setting for cooking. You can do this by having a glass of wine or your favorite cocktail while cooking, bring candles with you or buy them once you get there and play your favorite music or music that matches wherever you are. While you might not do all of this for yourself when you cook at home, this is vacation. Creating a relaxing atmosphere may even make cooking one of the things you look forward to while you’re away.

While cooking doesn’t fit with every vacation, it can be a part of most if you simply think a little differently than what you may be used to. For more tips on how to keep your next vacation relaxing, fun and healthy, be sure and check out  Integrated Wellness While On Vacation and Hotel Fitness Center Tips.

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Why Intimate Relationships Are Important for Our Health and Wellbeing

Bean Robinson, PhD is a licensed marriage and family therapist and Clinical Director for

the Program in Human Sexuality in the Department of Family Medicine and Community Health at the University of Minnesota Medical School. She says intimate relationships are important for our health and wellbeing because we’re social creatures and live in packs. “We need physical contact as well as close emotional contact because that’s how we thrive.” In other words, we need close connections in order to really be happy and healthy.

Holistic health coach and and former relationship podcast host Jessica Martin-Brassington believes that all areas of our life are connected and affect each other. That means that even if you exercise and have a great career, if your intimate relationship isn’t giving you the connection that you need, it’s going to affect your health. Jessica says, “Because we spend so much time with that person, our day-to-day really depends on how that relationship is going.”

That’s true when we’re newlyweds, when we’ve been at it for a while and as we age. UC Berkeley researchers who conducted a study published in the journal Emotion found that “older people in stable marriages are relatively happy and experience low rates of depression and anxiety. Marriage has been good for their mental health.” In fact, they say, “These findings underscore the importance of intimate relationships as people age, and the potential health benefits associated with marriage.”

What a Healthy Relationship Looks Like

While there’s no cookie cutter for what healthy relationships look like, there are some things they have in common. Bean says there are really two parts – the functional side and the intimate side. The functional side is more of the business part of the relationship – this includes generally agreeing on how to raise children and running and managing a household with minimal conflict. The intimate side means that you truly like each other and are there to support each other, that you have regular time for each other and yes, that you have a regular sex life that’s satisfying.

Jessica goes so far as to say that a healthy relationship should breathe life into our everyday. It’s one that is in alignment with healthy boundaries that we’ve set for our relationships such as not making us feel bad about ourselves or speaking negativity into our lives and adds something to our lives and allows us to thrive.

Focusing on Our Relationships

Of course, all of this doesn’t just automatically happen. Even though natural chemistry can go a long way, the stress of parenting, our jobs, aging parents and running a household can take their toll on even the strongest relationships. That’s where effort and some good old-fashioned hard work comes in.

Making a Consistent Effort

While Jessica doesn’t believe it’s realistic to focus on any one particular thing every day of the year, “If it’s something that is healthy and is allowing you to thrive and you enjoy it, you’re naturally going to want to work on that relationship or that part of your life and make it better and better.” She says that at different seasons of our life and times of the year, we might have things that are at the forefront of our focus, and that’s fine. That’s the way it should be. But, she reminds us, we need to make sure that no matter what else is going on, we carve out time and give the effort on a regular basis to strengthen our relationship with our intimate partner. If we don’t do that, we run the risk of everything else not working as it should.

In fact, this was one of the reasons Jessica started giving her voice to the topic—“to inspire women who had lost themselves in motherhood or business and were ready to take control of their health and bring their sexy back without guilt.” Jessica recognized in her own life that she had to say, “No. My children are a huge part of my life, but they’re not all my life. I have to focus on myself and then my husband. Because if we’re not okay, the family’s not okay. And I wanted him to know that I appreciated him.”

Using Holidays and special Occasions

While Bean agrees that focusing on our relationship with our spouse or partner should be a regular thing, she recognizes that people “get caught up in their busy lives.” That’s why she believes holidays and special occasions like Valentine’s Day have their place too. “Those are ways that kind of force us to think about that person and give us an opportunity or a reminder to do something special to demonstrate how we feel about them and how much we value them, love them, like them and care for them.”

4 Tips to Nurture Our Intimate Relationships

Our experts offer the following four tips to nurture your relationship to keep it healthy and strong, which in turn, will help to keep you healthy and strong.

Set aside time every week to be together

Bean suggests picking the same day every week that’s consistently good for both of you because if you try to figure it out on a week by week basis, you run the risk of it not happening. That means if someone else asks you to do something or if something else comes up – unless it’s extremely important – you don’t do it. Your set aside time with your partner is sacred. Bean advises using this time to connect sexually, but also to have brunch together, go on a walk, a bike ride, play tennis or do anything that allows you to have fun together.

Make your bedroom an inviting place for you and your spouse or partner

Jessica says this is an important part of setting healthy boundaries that support you and your relationship. “You should either be having sex or sleeping in that space.” You don’t want to go into a room with toys everywhere and where children or the piles of clean laundry have taken over. Make somewhere else your “catch all” room. This is a space for you and your spouse.

Bring back an attitude and feeling of dating

Jessica suggests that when you go somewhere with just the two of you (as in during your weekly time recommended by Bean), that you set a time to talk about kids, house projects or anything else practical that’s going on, and then cut it off and just focus on each other. Think about something you don’t know about your partner or that you haven’t done in a while and talk about that. Just like when you were dating, be interested in what they’re doing or what they’re thinking about. Also, don’t forget to flirt. Flirting lets the other person know you’re thinking about them, noticing them and helps to keep the flame going.

Communicate

We all know we need to do communicate well, but many of us don’t or don’t know how to. Jessica advises asking your partner, “Hey, what would you like to see different? What do you miss about our relationship either before we had kids, or from last year, or when we noticed we weren’t spending as much time together?” The key here is making sure that you ask it in way that shows you’re open to whatever they have to say and won’t get defensive or hurt. You’ll have your turn to answer the same questions, but it’s important that both people listen to what the other one is saying.

Jessica says that we often don’t address these things until they’re in a “state of emergency or disaster,” and then both people involved are sure to be on the defensive. That’s why the best time to discuss these things if possible is when things are going well. You can be proactive with the goal of not reaching that emergency state in the first place.

If things aren’t going well, Jessica suggests going to your partner and saying, “This is how I’m feeling right now.” She says that many times when she’s gone to her spouse with that, it wasn’t even what he meant. It was a misunderstanding. So, go into such conversations with an open heart, she reminds us, and not blaming or judgment, and the outcome will usually be one that benefits everyone.

Bottom Line on the Importance of Intimate Relationships

While our intimate relationships aren’t and shouldn’t be everything in our lives, they are an incredibly important part of our overall health and wellness picture. If your relationship isn’t where you want it to be, use this time leading up to Valentine’s Day to think about whether you’re putting in the effort that both you and your partner deserve. If not, use the tips suggested above to get started in making changes that could make all the difference in the world. You may not be “courting anymore,” but with some work and a lot of love, you can take your relationship to an entirely different level.

The post Craving Connection: The Importance of Intimate Relationships appeared first on Peppermint Tea.

Have you ever had a time when you felt like you were going through life on autopilot, or that you just felt “flat?” If so, you’re certainly not alone. While we all feel that way at one time or another, it could mean you’ve lost touch with your joy. That’s not a place you want to be in for long. As we know, our mind, body and overall wellbeing are connected, and joy plays a critical role in this circle of integrated wellness.

But what is joy really, how do you know if you’ve lost it and most importantly, how do you regain it? I went to “The Joy Doctor” to find the answers to these important questions. Dr. Shannon South, LPC, ThD is a transpersonal therapist and author who has been through quite a bit of trauma herself, has come out on the other side and now helps others to overcome trauma by focusing on what is right about themselves – their joy. With her expertise to guide us, we’re going to learn about ways to regain our joy and how we can keep from losing it in the first place.

What is Joy?

In the transpersonal world, joy is a state of consciousness that we can all access at any time. According to Dr. Shannon, “It’s different than happiness because happiness can depend on exterior circumstances. Joy is more about our true nature.” Even though we have it naturally, studies show that we can also train our brains to have more joy and to access it more quickly. Dr. Shannon explains that, “It doesn’t have to be like fireworks, it can be a calm fullness. Kind of like an underground stream that’s just there.”

The Importance of Joy in our Lives

So why is it important that we have joy in our lives? At its most basic level, it helps us to feel alive but not get bogged down by life. Without it, Dr. Shannon says, “Life’s exhausting. It’s flattening.” She compares it to the difference between a color sheet and black and white. “It’s a multi-dimensional experience versus this kind of just automaton flatness that we get when we’re not really accessing our joy.”  In other words, joy is good for our soul, which in turn affects everything else, including our health.

Joy makes us healthier because it helps us deal with trauma, stress, depression, anxiety or drama before our fight or flight response begins running the show. When we’re stuck in fight or flight, the more health problems and mental illness are going to show up. According to Dr. Shannon, “When you look at the brain of people who have more joy, their health is better, and they can see the bigger picture better instead of getting lost. The forest instead of the trees kind of thing, which helps deal with stress. It’s important that we can access joy because it helps pad the difficult problems that we’re going to have.”

Studies show that being in a constant state of fight or flight literally breaks our bodies down. On the other hand, joy does the opposite. Dr. Shannon says, “We’re in our pleasure, we’re in our purpose, we’re in our creativity and we’re in our flow state. That means we’re out of fight or flight.”

Ways We Lose Joy

According to Dr. Shannon, the following are some of the primary ways that women especially can lose their joy.

• Our lives are dictated by roles and rules. These can be through unhealthy relationships, our own expectations of ourselves or allowing society to define us. By conforming to these all of the time, “We’re not allowing our true authenticity, our freedom, our spontaneity, or our real needs to come to the forefront.” This can drain our joy as life becomes automatic or flat.
• Constant stress and worry. If we don’t have good mechanisms to deal with stress, we get caught in fight or flight. This slowly wears away at us until there’s no joy left. The same holds true for worrying. “Our brain is not meant to be used for worrying. It’s meant to be used for problem solving and creating solutions.”
• Multitasking. This may be something we take great pride in, but it’s actually draining for our life, health and joy. Dr. Shannon believes that by multitasking, “We’re only 50 percent present to our lives.” We’re not truly paying attention to any one thing that we’re doing, so there’s not an opportunity to find or appreciate joy in anything. It comes down to how many things we can check off at once as opposed to fully being present.
• Past traumas that haven’t been resolved. This can lead to depression and anxiety, which again, can cause us to get stuck in fight or flight mode.
• Caregiving ourselves to death. We’re so focused on serving and pleasing everyone around us that we lose ourselves.

So how can we recognize that we’ve lost our joy? Dr. Shannon hears women say all the time that “I have all these reasons to be joyful, but I can’t feel them.” If you’re having trouble feeling your life or as Dr. Shannon says, “feeling your heart,” then you may have gotten lost in your focus. You may have lost your joy.

6 Ways to Find Joy Again

While finding joy is different for everyone, Dr. Shannon offers the following suggestions that work for many people.

• Mindfulness and reducing multitasking. Be fully present and allow yourself to experience the joy in each moment and in everything that you’re doing, no matter how big or small. Notice how things feel, sound and smell. If you’re doing the dishes, throw yourself into it 100 percent. If you’re cooking dinner, think about what it feels like to peel the potatoes or to cut up the zucchini. Notice what the basil, oregano or other herbs really smell like as they’re cooking.
• Find activities that give you pleasure. Dr. Shannon points out that pleasure is not joy, but positive emotions help create and get in tune with joy.
• Develop healthy relationships. Dr. Shannon says that women are so relationally-oriented that balanced and supportive relationships with friends and family can be key to living a joyful life.
• Healing old trauma. If old traumas are clouding our here and now, it’s draining our energy whether we know it or not. Resolving those things to where they don’t feel like they have an emotional charge anymore is key.
• Self-care rituals. Dr. Shannon compares the clutter in our lives to the clutter in our homes or the dirt on our car. It builds up all of the time. We have to maintain our home and we have to clean our cars. It’s the same with our own self. “We need self-care rituals so as to keep our windshield clear so it’s not full of mud. We’ve got to keep ourselves clean and clear and tuned in to joy and love through prayer, meditation, pleasurable events and activities.”
• Get in your flow with some kind of creative project. If we can lose ourselves in a positive way in something, it’s really good for us. It lets us forget about our problems and remember the good stuff.

Finding our joy isn’t just important for ourselves. It affects everything and everyone around us. If we’re filled with joy and know how to tap into it, the effects will carry over to our relationships, our work and our service to others. Joy is contagious and gives us a chance to offer something positive “that’s catching” to the world around us. It gives us a chance to not only change our lives but the lives of those we love, like and maybe don’t even know at all. What a gift!

What’s Your Joy IQ?

If you want to find out what your level of joy is, you can take Dr. Shannon’s What’s Your Joy IQ? quiz. It will also help you to get rid of any “joy busters” and discover how to increase the joy in your life. If you’re looking for other resources on joy, be sure and check out Dr. Shannon’s blog.

Lean on Your Community

What are the biggest ways that you lose joy in your life, and what are two things that you’re going to try to cultivate more of it? You can reply in the comments section below, head over to the Peppermint Tea & Me Facebook page and leave your answers there or simply email me at Robyn@robynmooring.com. We’re here to support each other. After all, this world needs all the joy-filled people we can get!

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